Red eye?

Apologies to those who've been blagging me to get back to writing. While I can't promise quality, I can promise content...

So, I'm back from my trip to the West Coast for a brief two days for work. A couple of notes:
- San Diego weatherman is the easiest job in the world. How does it feel to undergo years of training so you can say "It'll be 75 and sunny" 365 days a year?
- In and Out burgers are good. Their menu is generic, but the locals know the secret (and now it's on their website.)
- Connecting from San Diego to LA to Houston to New Orleans sucks - especially overnight.
- Airports are boring - the magazines are the same wherever you go
- Airports are more boring when everything closes at 10pm
- New Orleans' Airport code is MSY. Well, that's easy to remember. That's M as in ? S as in ? and Y as in? Looking the the airport's longer name "Louis Armstrong International" still makes one wonder about the MSY. Okay, maybe "MS" from "Armstrong", but there's no "Y" anywhere. Perhaps the logical choices were taken. "NEW" is the tiny lakefront airport in New Orleans, "ORL" is Orlando, "NOL" is not taken. Come on, people - wouldn't NOL make sense - as in New Orleans, Louisiana???, Or they could just go with INB (It's New Orleans, Bitch) - but that code is already taken by Independence, Belize.

Ew...feel blogging powers fading (readers are probably saying "yeah we noticed around bullet point 2)...will be back soon...

Fear Factor, Southern Style

Before Fear Factor, Survivor, and the show where people eat bugs to win a greencard, our ancestors still tried their best to see what it'd take to induce people to do stupid things.

In essence, I live in the U.S.'s Fear Factor on a grand scale, New Orleans.

First, it's built in a swamp - bugs, alligators, humidity, and soggy ground where no structure is on solid ground.

Second, it's on the banks of the biggest river in the nation. As if that wasn't bad enough...

Third, It's BETWEEN a river and a lake, so there's flood risk from both sides.

Fourth, the whole city is below sea level - that way, any water that comes in can't get out!

Fifth, it's in a hurricane-prone area, sure to get dumped on with inches and inches of rain.

And for good measure, there's only a 2 lane highway out of town. (You know someone spoke up and said "Does it really need to be three lanes? Okay, nevermind.")

SWAMP - Check!
FLOODING - Check!
HURRICANE PRONE - Check!
BELOW SEA LEVEL, SERVING AS A BOWL FOR FLOOD COLLECTION - Check!
MINIMAL ESCAPE ROUTES, JAMMED BY THOSE LEAVING - Check!

Just goes to show you what people will do for good food, good music, and good odds at seeing boobs on Bourbon Street.

What about the ripples?

Ripple effects are impressive. A recent post on another blog got me thinking about the decisions we make every day and their long term consequences. (Yes, it's a deep thought - and you can only find postings about that issue on my blog or other blogs ending in ".com")

But, blogs aren't always about original concepts. If an original concept (as opposed to expression) was what was required, there'd be a total of 6 country music songs. They would be:
- The US is awesome and kicks ass (yours if needed)
- I love my woman (and she may be my wife or girlfriend, but not my mistress)
- I had a mistress and boy am I sorry now
- My life sucks for a number of reasons (wife left, dog died, truck broke down, wife left because of mistress - a corollary of the song above)
- I was young and naive and carried a gun and got shot (Johnny Cash)
- I killed someone and am being punished (by myself or the law) or it was okay (because his name was Earl and we're the Dixie Chicks.)

But I digress. (Which is an ironic thing to say on a blog, since aren't blogs the ultimate digression? You can't count many people to whom blogging is central to their livelihood.) Okay, that's two digressions - a bigression, if you will...but anyway. That's different than digressing back to a digression - that's a regression and is statistically significant.

So - ripple effects from previous decisions. I'm sure we all wonder about things we could have done differently. And, I'm sure that some of those decisions are no-brainers. "That was wrong. That shouldn't have happened." These are probably things where the hurt/pain was huge and anything learned or gained was small. To put that in consulting terms, there's a 2 by 2 matrix (isn't there always?) Hurt/Pain is one axis and Amount Learned is the other. So the High Pain, Low Learn you'd probably change and the Low Pain/High Learn, you'd probably keep. And this post is way too long to ponder the Low Pain/Low Learn. But what of the High Pain, High Learn?

Adding to that is the nasty fact that many of these decisions can't get categorized until well after the fact. And the fact that decisions are as much about a point in time as much as they are a "decision" to act in a certain way consistently over time. Add the fact that there's a Bizarro World version of this matrix focused on Pain Avoided and Learning Lost.

There's going to have to be a future post where I think more about this, because there are big parts of this stuck in my teeth as opposed to being digested. In the spirit of the original post, I give those of you with a need for closure a few choices:
1) Everything happens for a reason
2) Hindsight is 20/20, all we can do is our best in the future
3) I can't do anything about any decisions in the past, so let's move on
4) F**k me for some of the sh*t that I've done/had done to me
5) Those who don't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it

Obviously, if I thought the above were the answers, I would have picked one. Right now, though, I don't know. Votes? Ideas? Comments?

DATELINE - Washington D.C.

WASHINGTON D.C.

Today, the Federal Government has announced new anti-discrimination legislation aimed to protect those with tasteless, offensive, or clueless email addresses. Also protected are individuals whose “FirstLast” or “FLast” email formats have been at issue.

Congressman Dan Ickman (R), said “This is a historic day. Once I leave public service, I can rest assured that my resumes will be responded to – without discrimination!”

“It has been a hard couple years for people from foreign countries visiting the United States. At least I can now feel comfortable that my email won’t get in the way of my life here,” said Ali Kabutt, a recent immigrant to the U.S.

The legislation was a grassroots effort, launched via a mass email from Lee Watson (lazyworker@usa.net). “I’m proud to see that I am finally free to use whatever email I want, without discrimination. Today is a historic day for all internet users.”

In response, President Bush has decided to re-assign all White House email addresses to correspond to the nicknames he uses for people – a way to be sure he can remember their addresses. From now on, complaints about the food at Guantanamo Bay should directed to snakehips@us.gov, pace-maker SPAM can be sent to hopalong@us.gov, and inquiries about the recent goings-on in Russia can be sent to Pootie-Poot@us.gov (he has automatic forwarding.)

For more information, please visit, the SEC website, or email Brad Allman at ballman@sec.gov.

Screennames Bloggle the Mind

One of the big delays in launching my blog was deciding on a screenname. There are a lot of interesting options, but ultimately quick impulse took over and Beer Bloggles was born.

Here are a couple contenders that didn’t make the cut:
“Max Power”: from the episode where Homer changes his name based on the wording on his hairdryer, but the blatant Simpsons lift just didn’t seem right.
“You’re Still Away”: A bit too much of a golf reference and someone who shall remain nameless (rhymes with monest + fopular) was not a fan
“Fibonacci #”: Fits with my science/math bent and the title of the blog, but it’s basically an Italian dude’s last name or Plate #4 at the Olive Garden

This brings me to a pet peeve of mine. In my job, I review a ton of resumes and, as it is 2004, most of them include email addresses. I’m all for individuality and creativity, but if your email is going on a resume, then choose wisely. While I try to overlook these types of issues, plenty of businesses will not.

Couple words of advice:
- Shmackdatass@yahoo.com, you will not be getting a return phone call
- sheeki_butt@yahoo.com, hmm, no, it wasn’t the typo in your cover letter
- anyone@bissex.net, so “bissex” is a shoe maker? Get another ISP!
- fuzzybutt2152@aol.com, the status of your butt does not count as a job qualification

Okay, I made up the first one (and tweaked the others to protect the innocent), but come on folks. And just wait – soon there will be legislation drafted to prevent discrimination based on poor taste in email addresses.

The first post - there's always one

Like the first dollar in a frame in the back of an old store - here's the first post. And, much like the first dollar - not that exciting. This post will not even include a picture of George Washington, so you may be better off checking out the dollar.

But that old crumpled (and then flattened for framing) dollar is a milestone. It's the first time someone walked in and said "I'll buy what you're selling." Everyone from Fashion Icons to Internet Gurus to Drycleaning Store owners got that first dollar at one point. (Okay, well maybe the internet guys have their napkin business plan or first IPO shares in the frame, but you get the idea.)

In blog terms, it's a bit different. Instead of "I'll buy what you're selling," the first post says "I'm giving it away for free and no one may want it." (Okay, well so did a lot of internet business plans as well.) On the other hand, it may turn out that lots of people will want it and then you're stuck having given it away for free - oops. Well, I guess you just make it up on volume.

Back to that dollar - do you think places that go bankrupt have to give the dollar back? Even worse - give the dollar back and sell the frame for pennies on the dollar just to pay the repo guy the $4.15 it cost for the time it took his staff to take the frame off the wall?

At least with a blog, there's no repo man. It's out there, it's on the wall, and the wall ain't going nowhere.